The Myth of Natural Order

People often describe the natural order as "All men are dominant and all women submissive."

Nice little nutshell. Unfortunately, the world doesn't fit into a nutshell quite that easily. I believe that when Norman referred to "the natural order of things," he was thinking on a broader scale. I believe that Norman's philosophy of natural order was intended to encourage people to know and live as nature intended them to do. However, not every person is the same. The human species is infinitely diverse. Each person is unique in their own way. The purpose is for each to find that singular niche that they alone fit into and fulfill that. Just as nature created those who fit the "norm," so too did nature create those who do not. And they have their place. Each has a place of their own, a purpose to fulfill within nature's tapestry.

There are a small percentage of people who were born homosexual. No one knows for sure why that is. Whether it is genetic or some hormonal imbalance, it is something that is inherent. It is not a chosen way to live. In fact, some in an attempt to "fit into the norm," will attempt to deny it. Some will marry and produce children, raising families and interacting for years, keeping their "abnormal" desires a shameful secret.

Having known more than a few people in this situation, I can say those marriages generally fail. Usually when the person finds they can no longer deny their "natural" instincts. For these
people, being homosexual is not a choice. Living honestly comes with a price. Some pay this cost with lost jobs, careers shattered, friends and families who shun them… some even pay with their
lives.

Why? Why would a person "choose" to live in a way that is almost sure to result in discrimination, ridicule and even personal harm?

Because it is not a choice. Because it is who they are. Naturally. Because to live any other way would be to deny their true nature. And to do that, would be living a lie.

Now I'm not speaking about cross-dressing or transgender disorders. Not every homosexual man is a drag queen nor does every homosexual desire to surgically alter their body. Those are simply stereotypes used to "dehumanize" groups. If you view them as a stereotype instead of individual human beings, it makes discrimination easier. But there are people who accept and embrace their gender, and enjoy and appreciate the opposite sex, they just prefer their own gender sexually. I don't presume to understand why it is; it's not really my business. But I do believe that there are some people who are just "naturally" homosexual.

This I think Norman portrayed in his homosexual couple, Appanius and his slave Milo. They were not shunned or cast out of society. They were not pointed at or ridiculed. They simply were. People who were naturally homosexual and living their lives. They were not considered an aberration or wrong… just different. But they were indeed, Gorean.

There is another type of homosexual behavior that is not a result of natural inclinations for the same gender. What I call "situational homosexuality." This is not inherent, or genetic. It is entirely dependent upon the situation. A prime example is men in prison. Normally heterosexual men, who when denied normal hetero interaction with women will indulge in homosexual behavior. To quote a friend of mine, "Some men will schtupp mud." What is interesting to note here, is that these men (and sometimes women) are naturally heterosexual. It is only when normal heterosexual interaction is denied them that they resort to homosexual activity.

Norman depicted this type of homosexuality with his "Sames." Remember they did not "choose" to be Sames, it was a punishment. They were denied normal hetero contact. It was not allowed.

This I believe is what Norman referred to as an aberration. Not homosexuality per se, but the homosexual behavior of those who were not by nature homosexually inclined.

The question has been asked "can a homosexual be Gorean?" I think they can. Does homosexuality go against the natural order? Only if you think that the natural order is only dominant- men/submissive-women. I don't believe it is that simple.

I think Norman's concept of natural order extends beyond male/female relations. There is also the reality of power. Nothing is ever that cut and dried. Not every man is capable of dominating every woman. Each one of us has natural inclinations and desires that are uniquely our own. It is those that Norman encourages us to discover and express.

It is often said that a man does not need to have a relationship with a woman at all to still be considered Gorean. Why can that man not be homosexual? Just because a man is homosexual does not mean he does not accept the realities of power and the differences between the genders. Being homosexual does not mean a man stops being male. There are gay firefighters, police officers and lumberjacks. The list goes on.

I think Norman's intent was for each person to examine, understand and embrace their own true self. To seek that unique place that fulfills them and to express their humanity (and sexuality) in the most natural way possible.

Can you be homosexual and still be Gorean?

There was a time when I would have answered vehemently, "No."

I was wrong.

What sometimes seems so black and white is not always that simple. In between black and white are an infinite number of shades of gray.

It is easy to see what is on the surface and make assumptions and judgments based on what is readily visible. However, true enlightenment is only found when one dares to look beneath the surface.

Dive deep.

Beneath the surface….

That is where the truth lies.

I wish you well,

~Dangrus

"Meow!"

There are some topics that seem to spring up repeatedly on Gorean forums – it’s almost as if there were some pre-determined rotation.

There is the “Let’s start a Gorean community way out in the sticks!” This is generally those who want to role play offline and want some privacy to run around naked and swing their swords. (And it’s always the folks you don’t ever want to see naked.)

“Can slaves have honor?” comes up pretty consistently.

Then there is the “If a master holds a gun to my head and tells me to jump off a cliff, am I still a REAL slave if I say no?” (This one is hands down my favorite for pure entertainment value).

And then there is the recurring “There is no difference between a Free Woman and a slave.” This one is sometimes brought up and defended zealously by some self-defined slave who has an issue with a particular FW. Or perhaps the “slave” isn’t getting all the attention/sex/love/adoration she (the slave) feels she is entitled to. Or, maybe she just wants to push her limits because she’s chafing at those “slavery rules.”

I think of these types as “slave-buts” They want to be slave when it’s fun and sexy – BUT- when it gets uncomfortable or boring, or no one is telling them how pretty or perfect they are – hey – don’t treat me like a slave!

As the debate escalates, the “slave” gets more strident, more shrewish and more obnoxious – her focus is on winning despite her passive/aggressive “I only wish to understand” disclaimers when anyone dares to call her out.

And as always happens, said slave’s “Master” will jump in the moment anyone disagrees with his precious pet. (He generally supports her because she might shut off the nookie)

Not to be outdone, there is the flip side to this – the Free Woman who is jealous of all the attention the slaves get or who has failed at slavery herself. She will declare “there is no difference between a FW and a slave!” She then proceeds to make a fool of herself by attempting to complete with slaves for the attention of men. (Her FC, if she has one, also supports her position because to do otherwise, might result in his own nookie cease and desist order.)

Both of these situations are the result of a woman who hasn’t fully accepted the reality of her chosen status.

Yep, you heard me. Chosen status.

Any woman who participates in this lifestyle is making a conscious decision to do so. Whether free or slave, she wouldn’t be here unless she chose to be.

And for some, there comes a time when they will doubt their choice. The slave will get to a point where she resents that the Free Woman can speak with impunity. The Free Woman will itch to be the focus of the man’s attention.

They will begin to question why they can’t have it all. Rather than simply accepting the differences, they chafe at the distinction between them.

One wants to be better or more desirable than the other. Women are naturally competitive – especially when it comes to men.

But this is all part of the learning process. These women will inevitably follow one of two paths. They will either continue to argue, trying to twist and mold the Gorean tenets to fit what they want them to be – eventually becoming so frustrated they leave. Or, they will stop fighting, accept their place in the ladder of power (whether free or slave) and hopefully reach enlightenment. But until they figure it out, they won’t stop fighting.

So I don’t involve myself in the debate anymore. It’s pointless to argue. It’s another stage of the evolution – a part of the growth process. And history has shown us…

They’ll either get it on their own… or they won’t.


Wish you well,

~Dangrus

***Footnote: – You will note that both of the women described above are involved with men for whom the driving motivation is nookie. It has been my experience that actual Gorean men will generally not involve themselves in these catfights. Accountability is one of the main Gorean tenets and the belief is that if you shoot your mouth off, you should have the chops to back it up or take your lumps.

Freedom and Women

Greetings Folks,

I was talking with my friend Tusker one night and one of the thoughts that came up was how the image of the Gorean Free Woman has changed over the years.

When I first began interacting with Goreans, I was told that all Free Women were Dommes.

"But I'm a submissive woman."

"Shhhh.... don't tell anyone that! Only slaves are submissive."

"But I'm not a slave."

"Yes, Mistress."

Coming from a D/s background of many years, each time a slave addressed me as "Mistress," it immediately brought to mind images of black-leather-clad-whip-cracking-Dommes. The thought made me shudder. That was so not me. So, for some time I insisted that slaves address me as "FW" rather than "Mistress."

Naturally, this caused no small amount of furor. There were some men who insisted that their slaves address me as "Mistress," and for the most part I respected that, but as for the rest, I was "FW Dangruscurvz." (To some, “that odd submissive Free Woman”)

A good friend of mine always insisted that all slaves address me as "Mistress" when in his presence. At first, I resented that. I saw it as an infringement on my rights. However, looking back now I can see that he was in his own way attempting to push me to accept my place in the food chain. I was not a slave, and I had to learn to exercise the authority that was mine by virtue of being Free. (Thank you, Vigameister)

As I read and learned and grew within the Gorean Experience, the title "Mistress" became less of an issue, but I also noticed a benefit to clinging to that "FW" form of address. It had become a sort of litmus test for slaves. Being Free has its perks and how you wish to be addressed by slaves is one of them. As I became more comfortable in my own skin and in my place in the ladder of power, I realized that if I wanted to be addressed as "Empress of the Universe" by a slave, that was my right. A slave who knows her place will simply obey. One who doesn’t will argue and/or lecture on the "proper form of address."

It made it very easy to weed out those who "got it" from those who didn't have a clue.

Eventually, as more and more people began to actually study Norman’s work and dig for the meanings behind the fiction, the image of a submissive Free Woman became less and less of an oddity. With the advent of message boards, the books were dissected and analyzed and studied and discussed and the philosophies defined and examined.

As our focus turned more to how to manifest these philosophies, our respective roles within them became clearer. While on that fictional planet societal status made it easy to deal in absolutes, it doesn’t translate so easily to living as Goreans here on Earth.

In Norman’s society, a woman’s status was defined by men and supported by Gorean law. Here, a woman’s place is chosen (defined by her nature after careful self-examination) and supported by the laws of the society we live in.

Yes, chosen. Each woman will choose her place in the natural order. This is often overlooked by those who are still mired in the fiction. Those slaves who claim to have been captured, taken, or enslaved are quite simply, full of beans. Unless you were clubbed over the head and dragged off in chains against your will, you chose to be slave. Every action, every word is a choice we make. Even if that choice is to not exercise the rights society bestows upon us. To deny this simple fact is to ignore one of the most basic tenets of the Gorean philosophies - Personal Accountability.

This also applies to those “FW” who claim to have been “freed.”

Poppycock.

My personal opinion of any woman who tells me she was “freed,” is that she is simply avoiding taking responsibility for her own choice. And if she won’t accept responsibility for her own choice, if she needs someone to take the consequences for her choice, she is by no means Gorean or Free.

Over the years, we have seen those who have failed (walked away from) slavery pronounce themselves Free. Some deny that slavery is even possible. The “I couldn’t do it, so it must not exist” line of thought. This is just more of the same - refusal to accept responsibility for one’s own actions.

It’s not surprising that these are the very same women we see falling to their knees the next time some man rocks their boat. It becomes a vicious cycle. When they get tired of deferring to every free person, they slap on the robes and spout off. Only to shed the robes again and spread when they crave the attention that slaves attract.

These are not Gorean Free Women. These are not Gorean anything. This switching back and forth is insulting to those Free Women and those slaves who actually committed themselves to manifesting the Gorean ethos and who strive daily to live up to it.

What is sad is that more and more this “maybe I am, maybe I’m not” has been accepted. No one questions it anymore. A few years ago, on the GPB a woman stated that she had not met a Free Woman who had not been a slave at some point. The responses were few and largely ignored.

This is how watered-down this philosophy has become. I want no part of that.

Here is what I have learned over these past thirteen years. Here is what I believe. Here are the standards that I see and strive daily to manifest.

1. A Gorean Free Woman is above all, accountable for her own choices, actions and deeds.

2. A Gorean Free Woman is free to speak her mind, so long as she is willing to back up her words and accept the consequences of speaking.

3. A Gorean Free Woman is not some delicate little flower who smiles sweetly over her veils while expecting men to cherish and protect her. She is strong enough to hold her own with Gorean men and stand her ground when warranted.

4. A Gorean Free Woman is sensual, sexual and vibrant and is strong enough to control herself and knows when to display those passions that drive her.

5. A Gorean Free Woman knows and accepts that there could exist a man (or men) strong enough to bring her to her knees. This knowledge tempers her behavior because she also knows that once she surrenders her free will, there is no turning back.

6. A Gorean Free Woman knows that the ultimate decision (and responsibility) of her status rests with her. She accepts that, commits to it and lives up to that commitment.

7. A Gorean Free Woman understands that her submission is her own. When, where, how and with whom she chooses to share that side of herself is hers alone. (Unlike the slave who surrenders that option upon claiming the status of slave.)

8. A Gorean Free Woman is aware that the slave is not equal to her. While she may share close bonds with those who choose servitude, the line of demarcation between Free and slave exists and it is the responsibility of the Free to make it clear.

9. A Gorean Free Woman understands and respects the realities of power. She knows that not all men are stronger than she is and responds instinctively to those who are. She has found her place on that ladder of power and thrives.

10. A Gorean Free Woman understands that the operative word in that phrase is not “Free” but “Woman.” She is gloriously and exuberantly female….

And in that knowledge…

She finds freedom.

I wish you all well,

~Dangrus

**Originally published to the GPB in May, 2004.

Consistent Creep Factor

This past year I lost my PC - so when I bought a new one, I had to re-establish all of my lost favorites. I decided that since I read but rarely post on message boards, there was no reason to join and create profiles for most of them.

Imagine my surprise when reading one of them, I saw my own name mentioned in a "whatever happened to..." thread. So.... in order to reply (that I am indeed still alive and kicking), I had to create a profile on that forum.

I really thought that the profile I created was clear enough to discourage those who are looking to "hook up"... the first line of the profile is "No, I am not seeking romance." You'd think that would be enough.

I apparently underestimated the sheer relentless drive of the Freak Species so prevalent on the internet.

Daily, I am the recipient of messages like:

"I'll make you obey me!"

"I'd like to suck your toes!"

or my personal favorite -

"Are you married or just discreet?"

Good Grief!

I suppose one must take comfort in the truth - No matter how much we evolve, some things just never change.

Wish you well,

~Dangrus

To obey, or not to obey

This began as a conversation on the Gorean Falls message board.

"What is your duty?" asked my master. "Absolute obedience," I replied, in Gorean." pg 106 Slave Girl of GOR.

An impossible command? Not really. To many slaves, this concept of "absolute obedience" is a tough one to assimilate into their lives offline.

Slaves are taught to obey *All* the Free, *All* the time.

Is this wrong? Many would have you believe that. While defending insolent slaves, they will often hurl reminders of the infamous "Slavemaster" at you in defense. Some feel slaves have the right to pick and choose who they will obey.

Here is the flaw in their logic, though. A Gorean chat room (or forum) is a *Controlled Gorean environment* Just as it would be if you were in the home of a Gorean. And within that *Controlled Gorean Environment* it is not only possible, but expected that slaves will obey absolutely the commands of the free. All free. Because they have the security of knowing that most (if not all) of the people within that environment have a working knowledge of the Gorean culture.

Most slaves do not live within a *Controlled Gorean Environment* even if they happen to live under their owner's roof. Even those slaves held under the harshest discipline, will occasionaly find themselves outside of that *Gorean environment* They do not kneel and beg to enter the dry-cleaners, nor do they offer themselves to be used by every man they meet.

While still remaining respectful and pleasing, when outside the *Controlled Gorean environment* a slave's actions must be tempered by the world in which she lives. Common sense and self-preservation demand that.

So what's the bottom line? Just this. A slave is a slave *All* the time. Not only when the computer is on and not only when in the presence of those free she deems Gorean. Her demeanor is respectful and pleasing. Even when dealing with the dry-cleaner or the next door neighbor. There is never an acceptable excuse for insolence or rudeness.

As for *Absolute obedience* well, in her day-to-day life, a slave must use common sense and is called upon to make judgement calls according to the situation.

But... when inside a *Controlled Gorean Environment* whether that is a Gorean chat room, on a Gorean forum, or in the home of a Gorean...

*Absolute obedience* is not only possible... it is expected.

Absolutely.

Wish you well,

~Dangrus

***

At this point, a slave asked, "What if a "respected Gorean Master" whom you don't know well, commands you to do something you're not comfortable with... ie, revealing your address, phone number or nude pics?"

***

I replied:

When operating within that *Controlled Gorean Environment,* there is a hierarchy that is in effect. The security in that environment is in the presence of the Owner, host and/or other free in the room to whom the slave can appeal if she feels uncomfortable with a command given.

When outside of that environment, the slave is essentially "on her own" and must trust her own instincts entirely.

The bottom line is that even under the most extreme circumstances, a slave need not step beyond her station. This is an adult lifestyle and participants should be adult enough to handle themselves. That does not mean a girl ever has to resort to rudeness or insolence.

There is a difference between a girl saying "a girl does not feel she knows you well enough to reveal such personal information," and a girl saying "Piss off, buster I don't have to tell you a damn thing!"

When a girl's personal safety becomes an issue, she must decide when or if she will share private information. Common sense should tell you not to give out phone numbers and addresses to people you do not know.

However, when it comes to online interaction (chat or forums) or in the home of a Gorean, whether the command is "get me paga" or "warm my lap," she doesn't get a vote. Nor does she get to choose who she serves within that Gorean environment. That is Gorean slavery. If she's not prepared to serve Gorean men on their terms, she does not belong here.

Oh, the phrase "well respected Gorean master" is a relative term. It all depends on who is talking.

Here's the thing...

Gorean slavery is not some romantic fantasy. It is intense and overwhelming and very real. Gorean men do not accept the "gift" of submission. Instead, they give the gift of complete and uncompromising mastery. In exchange, they wring from that woman every ounce of submission she is capable of and more. There is no "protection" for a slave in the context of Gor. The only protection she has is knowledge. Knowledge of how Gorean slavery works. Knowledge of what will be expected of her.

The totality of what it entails, not just the pretty trappings.

To those who are considering it, I would say this:

Talk to people, many people. Read The Gorean Public Boards and other public forums where people who actually live this philosophy share their experiences. Learn everything you possibly can about the true nature of Gorean slavery. The good, the bad and the ugly. Make sure that you know exactly what you are getting into before you set foot upon the path. Gorean slavery is not about blind obedience... it is about complete and knowledgeable surrender.

Wish you well,

~Dangrus

********

Originally published in 2000

Living without a net

As many of you know, I read several message boards. While I don't post as often as I once did, I do continue to read.

On every board you will find "Can slaves fail?" followed by weeks of wailing and whining about "what if the master is drunk and tells her to shoot herself in the head while jumping off a cliff?" doomsday scenarios.

These are nothing more than attempts to avoid any hint that "lil precious" could possibly fail to be what she so very much wants to be. This is interspersed with the predictable chest-thumping hero riding to the rescue of all those "lilones" who might be so stupid as to actually try the cliff-jumping-head-shooting stunt in an effort to prove how really, really "slave-like" they are.

I've read posts by "former slaves" who suddenly cap their names and declare "I refuse to kneel to the capped masses!" (Roughly translated to: "That slave thing looked really cool, but it's too much work.") Some even go so far as to proclaim that they have discovered that (since they cannot be one) slaves must not exist.

The scariest discussion thread to date is what I refer to as "Gor-ville."

It's an attempt to form a Gorean gated society somewhere out in the boondocks where "Goreans can be Gorean" without the pressure of society.

While the various topics may be different, I see a similar "theme" emerging across the boards. Free or slave, it's the same whine.

The never-ending search for "wiggle room." The desire to find that safety net that will guarantee that they never fall, never get hurt, never fail.

There is a constant struggle to take what is natural and real and honest *and difficult* and turn it into something easy. The cost paid to live this is what makes it worthwhile. Stop looking for a free ride.

It is astounding to me that an Adult lifestyle that holds personal responsibility and accountability as two of its basic tenets continues to draw so many people whose main goal is to avoid those very things.

"It's not my fault!"

*sigh...*

Folks,

Sometimes.... it IS your fault.

Accepting, owning our mistakes and failures is the only way we grow.It's the only way to keep progressing along that path toward maturity.

Being Gorean is living in this society with honesty and integrity and the guts to be who and what you are as nature intended. It's owning your screw ups as well as your victories. It's embracing your own humanity, not running away from it.

It has been said that Norman's Priest Kings restricted technology on Gor in an effort to control the "human animals" they placed there.

I don't buy it.

I think the purpose of restricting technology was to force those humans to learn to accept, develop and utilize their own strengths. To force them to be the best they can be without any crutches. To force them to embrace their strengths, acknowledge their weaknesses and to experience fully all the joys and sorrows of their own humanity. He did this by removing the means to make it "easier." No excuses, no "buts," no compromise. You either survived on your own strengths…. or you did not survive.

There is no room for excuses, buts or wiggle room within the Gorean lifestyle.

You either are.... or you are not.

If you don't have the guts to live life without a safety net…. You don't belong in the Gorean lifestyle.

Failure is a fact of life.

In order to succeed at anything, you must be willing to risk failing….without guarantees, without safety nets, without"wiggle room."

To those who think they must remove themselves from society in order to live a Gorean lifestyle… I have only one piece of advice.

Don't drink the Koolaid.

Wish you all well,

~Dangrus

*********

Originally published in 2003.

Mentoring those who would be Goreans

If you read (as I do) public Gorean message boards, on each one you will invariably find a thread on Mentoring.

Oddly, all of the posts on various boards on this topic are a precise example of why Mentoring does not work in this lifestyle.

Let's look at it.

On one side, there are those who are gung-ho on the mentoring plan.

Most of their arguments have been based on the premise that those who come after should be able to learn from those who came before.

*Keep them from making the same mistakes.*

OK...

On the other side, there are those who do not believe a formal mentoring plan is effective and/or Gorean.

Why? Well, if you paid attention, you might notice that those who fall on the "Nay" side are those who have been here for years, and many of us have been labeled with that "Mentor" moniker whether we wanted it or not.

You see, those who have been down that mentoring road a few (thousand) times before have a different perspective on how effective it can or cannot be.

Been there, done that, lost the t-shirt.

In the doing, we learned that it is not possible to teach someone to "be."

They must go through the learning, failing and getting back up on their own in order for them to learn. That process in itself defines the Gorean Experience.

As a very smart man named Marcus told me years ago, "Dangrus, you can't save them from themselves."

But that doesn't stop us from trying.

So even though we know mentoring doesn't work, we attempt to mentor those who would be mentors. We share with them the fruits of our own experiences, in an effort to *Keep them from making the same mistakes.*

And do they listen?

Not a bit.

They have to learn from making their own mistakes.

So, with that realization I will now sit back and let them go.

Knock yourselves out. Mentor your little hearts out.

And when you finally "get it," we'll save a seat on the bench for you when that next generation of eager beavers pops up with a zealous need to mentor the next bunch.

I wish you well,

~Dangrus

**********

Originally published in 2004.

New Year's Wish List

I originally posted this list on 01/01/2000. Ten years later, my list is the same.

*****

My wish list for everyone in the New Year...

Knowledge... not only of things Gorean, but knowledge of life, and mostly knowledge of self.

Humility... to admit the knowledge we don't have... only then will we begin to learn.

Perseverance... to seek that knowledge and understand it.

Wisdom... to use the knowledge acquired in a positive way, not as a weapon.

Grace... to accept help in the spirit in which it is given and be grateful for it.

Patience... with those who are not as far along the path.

Clarity of vision... to see the truths in Gor... and in ourselves.

Courage... to face those truths without flinching.

Honesty... to voice those truths.

Tenacity... to defend those truths against all odds.

Discrimination... to discern right from wrong.

Trust... in our own judgment.

Passion... to extract every ounce of joy out of each day.

Strength... to channel that passion into honorable pursuits.

A strong and loving heart... filled with enough fire to fuel those passions that drive us and warm the spirit that sustains us.

Happy New Year,

~Dangrus

Perching on Pedestals

Competition between slaves was a common occurrence in the books. But, there was something honest about the wrestling in the mud, scratching, hair-pulling squabbles that took place there. Here, words are the weapons of choice. The competitive drive is cloaked in catch-phrases and descriptives that a girl uses to inch just a little higher than the next girl. Subtle, insidious, words veiled in sweetness.

As I think back, I have witnessed several different "trends" but while the words are different, the intent is the same. To edge ahead of the pack. To step up on that pedestal that makes her just a little better than the rest of the slaves.

The first example of this is the collared slave. Not just any slave anymore... His slave. His treasure, his precious, his pet, his slut, his beast... His. While she smiles serenely down at the other uncollared girls, she assures them that someday, if they are very pleasing, they might be able to step up to share her pedestal. The rest are just slaves... she is a collared slave.

Then we saw the "true slave." The picture perfect (Barbie kajira) slave. Always compliant, calm, serene, perfectly composed. She never struggled, never had doubts like other girls because... well... because she's a "true slave." The rest are just slaves... she is a true slave.

Then for a while, we had the "R/L slave" You remember her... the girl who could not post one sentence without referring to her "R/L Master." She introduced herself as a "r/l slave." Every request to leave or AFK included a reference to the "R/L Master." The rest were just slaves...

She was a R/L slave.

And now we have the 2001 version. The "natural slave." The girl with that magical, mystical, special *something* that sets her apart from all others... can't describe it... can't explain it... can't define it... it's just... well... natural. The rest are just slaves... she is a natural slave.

As I look at these words... collared slave, true slave, r/l slave, natural slave... Where is the focus here? Why would a girl who is truly enslaved would feel the need to qualify her status with such descriptives.

If you're looking for the slave... the humble servant who is fullfilled in her servitude... you won't find them on these pedestals... If you look close enough, you will see that the graceful beauty in simple surrender is found in the girl who finds her life's meaning... in being "just a slave."

Wish you well,

~Dangrus

********




Originally published in 2001.

Simulation

The past few days while I've been home "under the weather" I have had a little more time to spend online than in recent months. Now, perhaps it's the cold meds, or perhaps it's just that less time here has given me a different perspective , but no matter the cause, I find my tolerance level for bullshit is at an all time low.

I have been asked my opinion on several topics that seem to have sprung up recently, so I thought I'd share them here. Along with a few observations of my own.

The "serving vs. not serving vs. serving pretend drinks vs. pretending to serve real drinks" debate.

Well, I'll give you the policy in my Falls which I still adhere to. I think there is a great deal to be learned through online simulation for those who feel a pull toward slavery. Since the Falls was created as a virtual Gorean setting, slaves are expected to learn what that is and serve accordingly. Does this teach them to serve paga offline? Nope. What it does teach them is that in my home, they will behave according to my wishes without question. They learn that even if something is not important to them... if it matters to the free person they serve, then it becomes important, period. One of the first times I encountered this particular part of Gorean interaction was years ago when I witnessed a slave being punished for typing "LOL" instead of typing it out. I asked the man "What does it matter?” He replied, "It matters because I say it matters. And that is all a slave should need to know for it to matter to her."

Excellent point.

I have had slaves question why they are corrected for typos. The answer is simple. The free call the shots. The free set the standards. Slaves either live up to those standards, or fail. It's not a difficult concept. The free need not justify why they wish things a particular way. It is a slave's lot to obey. Period. Whether he demands paga or pepsi in a Donald Duck cup with a silly straw, the slave will obey. *Without question* That is the important thing that a slave learns (or should be learning) by online simulation of serving. The reality of her status.

Will she learn any more or less whether she's serving paga or pepsi? Nope. Simulation is simulation is simulation... Period. While some may enjoy pretending they're in a virtual living room vs. a virtual tavern, it all boils down to semantics. (Read, bullshit) Doesn't make it any more real or any more Gorean. The bottom line is that online simulation serves a purpose that is valid. Or it should. When used correctly. When both parties are committed to the task, simulation can be very real.

It is not a tool for some man to use to look like a big guy while his collared slave types a 45 min dripping and quivering extravaganza to show everyone how "Masterly" her owner is. It is not a gynecological exam. It is not a slave's "right" to take center stage so that everyone must hush and pay her the attention she feels she is entitled to.

It is quite simply, an opportunity to express feelings, thoughts and emotions in a creative way. The desire to please the one being served and the devotion to the task will show in the attention to detail. Detail, meaning a familiarity with the works that this lifestyle is based on. Detail meaning a working knowledge of rudimentary grammar. It is also a way for the free to exert their control over a slave by demanding (and getting) the particular service they wish. If that means making her repeat the serve until it is typo-free, then that is what should happen. What is important is the understanding of the dynamic between free and slave. The free commands, the slave obeys. It is not enough to say the words "slaves have no rights." The simulation allows her to experience that. Or it should.

Simulation is an opportunity for those who have no offline experience to safely explore whether this particular lifestyle is something that they can handle. While it will not answer every question, it will sometimes show a person that this is perhaps a little more intense than they first thought. Personally, I'd rather see a person learn that here, online, than in a face to face encounter that may just cause irreparable damage.

As for whether that simulation takes place in a "virtual living room" or a "virtual tavern," well... Online Gor sprang from the virtual tavern. I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with that. Just because some of us have found valid and real philosophies to anchor our lives within the words of Norman... does not mean that we have given up forever our ability to appreciate the fictional world that he created.

When the day comes that I am content to simulate sitting on my couch instead of taking that flight of imagination and hope that Gor inspires in me... That will be the day that Gor has lost its meaning for me.

I hope that day never comes.

Wish you well,

~Dangrus

********



Originally published in 2001.

Selective Amnesia

It is a common affliction... this "selective amnesia." The memories of our blunders fade in importance while the memories of our victories grow. Like fishing stories. That fish we caught just grows and grows each time we tell the story, while the time we sneezed while casting and got that hook caught in our nose dims to a faint recollection.

Who among us has never made an error in judgment? Which one of us has never done something on impulse that just seemed like "such a good idea at the time"... only to realize you had made a fool of yourself?

Have you? Or you? We all have things in our pasts we would like to forget. Or that we wish others would forget. But, should we forget? No. Good or bad, those blunders are ours. Own them. Each one was a learning experience that moved us one step closer to where we are now. In that way, they were helpful in bringing us that much closer to where we wish to be.

We never truly forget those mistakes. We merely tuck them away in some dark corner, hoping no one will see them. But they are not gone. We push them farther and farther back on that shelf as we move forward. We try to forget. We do our best.

It's been said that it is not the mistakes we make that define our character, but rather how we deal with them. When we take responsibility for them and learn from them, we move forward. The danger is when we try to hide them and ignore them. Each event in our lives, good or bad, was a step upon the path that brought us to where we are. Each person who touches us or whom we touch... a step. There is a lesson to be learned about ourselves in every encounter.

But, we should not be judged for them. Nor should we judge others by their past mistakes. The Man who was once sold at auction as a slave for a day as a joke. Does that make him less of a Man today? No. The Free Woman who entered Gor as a slave. Perhaps it only took her a few days to realize that she was not a slave. So she re-enters Gor as a Free Woman and has been a shining example of that ever since.

When we attempt to forget the past, we lose our perspective. We judge others too harshly in an attempt to cover our tracks. The one who went from slave to Free and never acknowledged it, never owned that mistake, will be the first to berate others for "slave-like" behavior. Those who swept into Gor on tarnback, waving swords and then changed their names to hide it, will be the quickest to point out the same foolish behavior in others.

We should not forget our beginnings. No matter how much we'd like to forget the times we stumbled along the way, we can't. Nor should we. Because it is precisely those memories that allow us to empathize and offer a helping hand to others who are following the same journey as we did.

And because those memories will not allow themselves to be erased... When we try to... When we forget... that is precisely when they suddenly rear their ugly heads... and bite us right in the ass.

Wish you well,

~Dangrus

********



Originally published in 1999

Forgiveness is not an entitlement

Accountability. One of the basic tenets of the Gorean lifestyle. That each person, whether free or slave will be accountable for their actions. I have found that while many will speak of Accountablity, few actually comprehend the concept. Being accountable for our actions does not simply mean taking responsibility when we screw up. It also means accepting the consequences of our actions.

Take for example, the man who collars a slave. Promises her an offline relationship while knowing he has no intention of leaving his blissfully unaware wife and kids. Or the slave who accepts collars from two different men. She visits one on alternate weekends, claiming family responsibilities while visiting the other. Or the woman who is a collared slave, but logs on as a "Panthergirl" when she feels like telling off some of the free.

Usually, just as they're about to be exposed, these people "confess their sins." A huge dramatic scene where they spill their guts and follow that with a zillion excuses to justify their reprehensible behavior. Much the same as Death Row Inmates who find God and religion just as they're about to get their butts fried.

We've all seen this. The apologies, the excuses. The "Look at what a good person I am, I'm taking responsibility for my actions."

But that is only part of what Accountablity is. That's the easy part. The rest of it is the part that most people just don't understand. Accepting the consequences of those bad choices they made. That's the tough part.

"Ok, I confessed, I said I was sorry.... Now you're supposed to forgive me."

Sorry, folks it doesn't always work that way. Especially in a community of Goreans. Sometimes, you are not forgiven. Some things are unforgiveable. Oh, there will always be those who will pat you on the head and say "It's ok, everyone makes mistakes." But there will also be those who simply turn away and have nothing further to do with you.

It is at this point, where those who truly have understood the concept of Accountability will accept the consequences of their actions. They know and accept that the loss of that friend or partner is their own fault. They earned it by making the choices they did. There may come a time, further down the path when that person may give them another chance, after they have seen some honest contrition and change in behavior. But then again... that may not happen. Either way, one must accept responsibilty. You have caused this. No one else but you.

Those who do not fully understand the concept of Accountability will usually react in anger. "How dare you not forgive me!" But, forgiveness is not something you are entitled to in any way. Like anything else when dealing with Goreans, forgiveness is earned, it is not an automatic right. There will be those who will forgive, and those who won't. Those who do not forgive are not to blame in any way. It is not some "flaw" in that person which makes them unable to forgive. It is their own personal standards which you have failed to meet.

The failure is not on the part of the one who will not forgive.

The failure is yours.

Accept that.

Live with it.

You've earned it.

Wish you well,

~Dangrus

********

Originally published in 2000.

Citizenship

"Young men and women of the city, when coming of age, participate in a ceremony which involves the swearing of oath, and the sharing of bread, fire and salt. In this ceremony the Home Stone of the city is held by each young person and kissed. Only then are the laurel wreath and the mantle of citizenship conferred. This is a moment no young person of Ar forgets. The youth of Earth have no Home Stone. Citizenship, interestingly, in most Gorean cities is conferred only upon the coming of age, and only after certain examinations are passed. Further, the youth of Gor, in most cities, must be vouched for by citizens of the city, not related in blood to him, and be questioned before a committee of citizens, intent upon determining his worthiness or lack thereof to take the Home Stone of the city as his own.

Citizenship in most Gorean communities is not something accrued in virtue of the accident of birth but earned in virtue of intent and application. The sharing of a Home Stone is no light thing in a Gorean city."

Slave Girl of Gor, page 394

The issue of citizenship is something that is often overlooked when discussing the Gorean lifestyle and the philosophies that anchor it. While honor and natural order immediately spring to the lips when asked to define the Gorean lifestyle, rarely does one speak of the priveledge and responsibilities of citizenship. In reading (and re-reading) the books, it becomes apparent that while this is something that Norman's Gorean people accepted as a part of Gorean life, it is something we often forget.

There are two points brought out in this one quote. The first is that for free men and women, citizenship was not an "entitlement" as it is in our society today. It was something that was earned. Only after examinations were passed and the youth was questioned and vouched for, was he or she deemed a citizen of that city.

The second point is that with the priveledge of citizenship and all the rights implied, came a responsibility. An obligation to be a productive member of that society. Throughout the book, I read a strong sense of duty on the part of each free person, male or female, an obligation to carry their own weight in exchange for the right to be regarded as a citizen of that city. This was accomplished by each working within their caste.

I think Citizenship is one of the most essential tenets of the Gorean lifestyle. It is also one that is often misunderstood by newcomers. Having read the books or a website or two does not guarantee automatic acceptance. It is not enough to step up and proclaim, "I am Gorean!" One must prove it. Prove that their intent is honest and sincere. Prove that they are what they say they are. Until a Gorean is sure of a stranger's intent, he will be treated with a degree of caution. While not necessarily rude, we tend to hold strangers at arm's length until we have formed an opinion as to their sincerity. Our trust, as with anything worth earning, is hard won.

However, once a person has been accepted into the Gorean community, I believe he has a duty to contribute in some positive way. Just as we have a civic duty to the local community in which we live, we also have a duty to the Gorean community. Those of us who call ourselves Goreans have an obligation to protect and promote the truths around which we center our lives. I know that for myself, I had been exposed to Gor for almost a year before I truly believed I had earned the right to call myself a Gorean woman. With that right, came an almost overwhelming sense of duty to "give back" to the teachings around which I structure my life. Gor is my anchor. It affects every area of my life from my interactions with friends and employees to the way I relate to my family. Because of this, my need to somehow "repay" that debt is also a constant.

I consider myself lucky to have discovered Gor at a time when the ratio of Goreans to Players was much higher than it is today. I learned the tenets of this lifestyle from those who live it day to day. I had the priveledge of being one of a very few new ones in a group of Goreans who were gracious enough to answer my countless questions and teach my by their example. The debt I owe them is immeasurable. And it is one I strive each day to repay, through my writings and the time I spend answering questions and guiding those who are new to the places where they will learn the truths. This is not a job, nor is it something I do expecting any sort of repayment. It is my responsibility as a citizen of this community.

Originally published in the August, 2000 issue of The Gorean Voice.

Chance Encounters

Each time I read Tarnsman, I find myself returning to one scene in particular. Tarl's encounter with Nar of the Spider People.

It occurred to me that while Norman spends pages using Warriors and the "larger than life" main characters in his books to expound on concepts of honor and integrity, it is the less vocal ones who demonstrate those principles.

For example, Nar. He does not agonize over his actions. For Nar, there is no choice. He simply does the right thing. For no other reason than that it is the right thing to do. His matter-of-fact view of how "rational creatures" should behave reflects that.

He states, "I do not think it is appropriate for rational creatures to speak loudly."

When Tarl thanks Nar for saving his life, Nar's humility will not allow him to take credit.

After Tarl saves Talena from the tharlarion and she runs off, Nar calmly brings her back, kicking and screaming because, "She did not remember to thank you for saving her life, which is strange, is it not for a rational creature?"

When Talena refuses to answer Tarl's questions about the Home Stone of Ar and the tarn, Nar gently closes his mandibles around her throat and offers Tarl her head. While the creature surely had the power to destroy her in an instant, he used just enough of his strength to assure her compliance. Calmly, impassively, deliberately... rationally.

To me, volumes are contained in this short exchange. It makes me think that while Norman was writing of his vision of a perfect world, and we struggle daily to actualize those philosophies into our own lives, that much of his work parallels life as it is.

It is not always those who play the big roles in our lives who teach us the most. Sometimes the most profound lessons we learn are in those momentary chance encounters with strangers.

(This essay was originally published in the September, 1999 issue of The Gorean Voice.)

By the Books

There seems to be a never-ending struggle between those who cry, "If it's not specifically in the books, it's not Gorean!"... and those who seem to feel entitled to rewrite Norman's works, proclaiming, "If it's not specifically NOT in the books, it's acceptable." While I doubt that someone who is afraid to make a move without first checking to make sure it is in the "sacred scrolls" is what Norman envisioned when he created his proud, independent Gorean people... there is also such a thing as poetic license run amok.

While adhering to the books is something we should all strive for... the books themselves are contradictory in places and therein lies the problem. The books are filled with unique and singular individuals... each different... but all of them Gorean. What is it that makes them Gorean?... Is it the clothes they wear?... No... From the naked slave to the Tatrix in her robes of gold... all are still Gorean. Is it the way they behave? Do they all conduct themselves with Honor?... Not really... The books are filled with less than honorable people... yet they are still Gorean.

It is the philosophies that tie them together. (Considering Norman is a philosopher, not a foreign concept, huh?)

The belief that Men are naturally dominant and women are by nature submissive. The belief in a natural order that is not to be denied. There are many more, but I think you can see the point.

There are many who read the books of Norman and study all of the websites. We meet them every day. They somehow... absorb all of the details of the books while missing the message. They choose a Gorean name, (usually "Something_of_GOR") and keeping in mind Rule # 1, (Tal the Free and greet the slaves), they come swooping into Gor on tarnback, leading a larl on a leash, demanding paga with a ka-la-na chaser. (You laugh, but that actually happened.) While this person may have a wealth of knowledge of things Gorean, they just don't... "get it." That is not to say they never will... they just haven't yet.

But... If you believe strongly in the philosophies that Norman set down, and hold true to them, they will govern your behavior. If you must think about it... consult the books before you make a move... then, you have somehow not yet grasped the difference between "acting Gorean" ... and Being Gorean.

Becoming Gorean is not an overnight occurrence... but more of an evolution... some are just higher up on the evolutionary ladder than others.

*********

Originally published in 1999

Prisons

"May the outposts of Gor thrive! They have value not only in themselves, but, too, as sanctuaries for life and meaning. Let them continue to be “safe houses” for the mind. " ~JN,2000

One of the strongest bonds that ties Goreans to each other is the knowledge that there are others who share our beliefs. Beliefs which fall outside the current "Politically Correct" views of society.

What caused this Politically correct, gender-neutral society of sameness that we see now? People caused it by "going along." By being afraid to make waves. By being willing to stifle their individual thoughts and feelings in an effort to "fit in" with the herd.

Goreans, as Norman envisioned them, were the antithesis of this very thing. His Goreans did not just "go along." They stood proudly for the things they believed in. Willing to stand up against the herd and say "No!"

"How rare is the truly dissenting voice, and how perilous the consequences of its utterance." John Norman himself is viewed as one of those "dissenting voices."

Unfortunately, what has happened to the Gorean community is that while striving to live outside the parameters of political correctness, we seem to have created a society of "Gorean correctness."

Once again, we have a society peopled by those who only wish to "fit in." To go along with the herd. While it is human nature to want to belong to a part of something, is it really necessary to compromise your integrity to gain that? To say what you think people wish to hear instead of what your heart tells you is true? To agree when you do not believe it?

The primary reason I write and post is to give voice to the things that inspire me to think. My hope is that it will cause others to do the same.

To think.

You don't have to think like I do. Tell me what you think. If you disagree, be willing to stand up and say so and be prepared to back that up with solid reasoning. Perhaps I am wrong. If so, convince me. Or perhaps I can find the words to convince you. Or perhaps the answer lies somewhere in the middle. Either way, there will be some further understanding found in the process.

Do not swallow your thoughts and opinions in an effort to "fit in" with the crowd. To do so, is to deny your own self. Because every time you do that, every time you disagree or question something, but remain silent, you add another brick to the walls closing in on us.

Once those walls are built, we have lost. We will have only moved from the confines of political correctness... to the prison of our own making.... Gorean correctness.

************

Originally published in 2001.

Whispers...

This is an oldie, but apparently a popular one because it's stolen more often than any other piece I've penned...

***************

The Evolution of a Gorean

It's like a whisper.

"Pssssstttt.....yes, you.... come closer."

It tugs at some place deep inside you. So you watch. Who are these people? These Goreans. What is it about them that makes them somehow... different? The atmosphere is different. There is a calm... a sense of order not seen in other places. You leave thinking, "I wonder how they manage that?"

You return to your old haunts... the rooms full of chit chat. The familiar scroll seems too fast now... too... full of shallow words. These people, these friends seem so ... frivolous, so silly. Strange, where once you felt comfortable and at ease, now you feel... unsettled. The inside jokes, the "cutesy" expressions all seem so tiresome and trite. You've had a glimpse of something... deeper. The more time you spend in the places you've always gone, the worse it gets. You find the constant inane chatter annoying now. You find yourself becoming irritated over things you would've laughed at before.

Eventually, you get back into the swing of things. That feeling of unease fades to a dull twinge every once in a while. Until one day, someone enters the room. The entire tone of the room changes. It is as if it slows... calms. You can feel all eyes turned to the newcomer. The quiet that settles over the room with his presence. With a gesture or a word, those who were loud and boisterous suddenly are a bit... respectful. You recognize him. He is Gorean.

As soon as he leaves, the room quickly returns to the normal chatter. Only you do not join in. It is back... that feeling of unease. In this place where you have spent countless hours talking and laughing and sharing, you suddenly feel like an intruder. You do not belong here. But, if not here... where?

You begin to read in between visits. Eager to know more of this thing called Gor. And each time you log on, you find yourself looking for those taverns and places Gorean. The more you learn, the more comfortable you feel, and yet... you still feel like a child with his nose pressed to the glass. You spend time there, but... you are still on the outside looking in. Consumed with a burning need to know more, you scour used bookstores in search of the "scrolls." You search the web, hungry to learn, to know. You watch and study and absorb all that you can.

What is it? What is that secret "something" that makes a person Gorean? Is it the words, the terminology? You know the difference between a kajira and a Kaiila. You recognize the cities like Ar and Turia. You even get some of the Gorean jokes. You are beginning to fit in. People greet you when you enter. (You secretly get a thrill each time a slave calls you "Master.") They accept you, converse with you, and yet... there is still that distance. That silent knowledge that no matter how much time you spend there you are still... a visitor. Oh, you may call yourself Gorean, but each time you say the words, you feel a guilty twinge in side and you hear that whisper.

"Liar..."

Back to the books. There must be some... thing... some one important passage that explains it all. You just need to find it. So, this time you read. Really read all of the books instead of skipping the "boring" parts or the "girl" books. You begin to see that behind the warriors and the beautiful slave girls there is an underlying theme in Norman's work. This "natural order of things." They're not just love stories about men and women, but love for nature, respect for the truth. Ok... so now you understand.

You return to Gor, armed with this knowledge. You burn to BE Gorean. Everywhere you go, you speak of Gor. There is a need to share this passion awakened in you. You find yourself quoting chapter and verse from the scrolls. There is a quote to fit every situation. You hardly have to think about it anymore, they simply spring to your lips. You enter a tavern and are served. To be honest, you don't notice the typos she makes because you're so distracted with this talk of nipples and "slave heat." You look down at the girl at your feet, almost giddy with the feeling of power. You think, "Wait till the guys at the office hear about this! Oh, yeah.... I am Gorean."

Again the whisper comes... "Liar."

Well, damnit. You've read the books twice. You know the terms and phrases by heart. You can boss around the slaves with the best of them. You know and understand the principles of honor and slavery. What is missing? Ok, so some of them are a bit extreme. Like that guy who whipped a girl for bringing him Ka-la-na instead of paga. You know the books say he has that right, but hell, cut the girl some slack. And the way she just threw herself at his feet as if her very life depended on bringing him the right drink. What is it about this place? What are you just not "getting?" You know the rules, the accepted codes of behavior. You behave when you are here as if you are Gorean. What are you missing?

You read some more. You go about your life, each day learning and absorbing a little more of this place called Gor. Then, perhaps one day you are in the bank and some mouthy girl is rude to you. You immediately think, "insolent slut!" and a picture springs to mind of her naked in chains at your feet. A smile of recognition spreads slowly across your face. You hold her gaze and speak firmly to her and she responds. Her eyes lower and her voice drops to a whispered apology.

In that moment, it becomes clear to you. It is not enough to know or to understand the principles that Norman set down. You must accept them as true. Accept them as your own. Take your place in the natural order of things. You remember that man who quieted a roomful of giggling subbies with a glance and you know. Gor is not a place you go to when you read a book or turn on your computer. It is not put away when you return to your "real life." Gor is carried in your heart every minute of every day. Gor is not where you go or what you do. Gor is who you are.

You hear the whisper one last time... "Yes... you are Gorean."

"It is a genetic expectation," I told her, "more ancient than the caves, a whisper in your brain bespeaking a lost world of nature, a world in which the human being, both male and female, were bred. You were fitted to one world; you found yourself in another. You were a stranger in a country not of your choosing, a troubled guest, uneasy in a house you knew was not yours."

"I fear my feelings," she said.

"They hint to you of nature's world," I told her. "They are inimical to the machine."

"I must fight them," she said.

"They are reminiscence," I said, "of a vanished reality. They whisper of old songs. The machine has not been able to eradicate them from your brain. Such feelings, in their genetic foundations, lie at the root of women, and of men. They antedate the taming of the fire. They were ancient when the first stone knife was lifted to the sun."

"I must fight them," she said.
"Fight yourself then," I said, "for it is your deepest self for which they speak."

Beasts of Gor..... pg 202

© copyright, Dangruscurvzzz 1999. All rights reserved

This essay may also be viewed in the July,1999 issue of The Gorean Voice.

A new home...

Hello Folks,

It was a bit of a shock to discover that the Gorean Falls website was no more. But then, I hadn't added anything for two years, so I guess I'm lucky it stayed up as long as it did.

I started the site in 1999. The goal was just to put it up to support the Gorean Falls chatroom. Perhaps some Gorean information, rules of etiquette for the slaves and that's it. Who could've predicted it would take on a life of its own.

Over the years, on that site, I shared my own personal Gorean evolution. I tried to document every step - both the enlightenments as well as the mistakes. The "AHA!" moments as well as the screw ups have all contributed to making me the woman I am today.

I will do my best to post some of the best of what was on the Falls site. I don't have everything, but if you have a particular piece that you'd like to see, shoot me an email and I'll try to find it.

I wish you most well,

~Dangrus