Selective Amnesia

It is a common affliction... this "selective amnesia." The memories of our blunders fade in importance while the memories of our victories grow. Like fishing stories. That fish we caught just grows and grows each time we tell the story, while the time we sneezed while casting and got that hook caught in our nose dims to a faint recollection.

Who among us has never made an error in judgment? Which one of us has never done something on impulse that just seemed like "such a good idea at the time"... only to realize you had made a fool of yourself?

Have you? Or you? We all have things in our pasts we would like to forget. Or that we wish others would forget. But, should we forget? No. Good or bad, those blunders are ours. Own them. Each one was a learning experience that moved us one step closer to where we are now. In that way, they were helpful in bringing us that much closer to where we wish to be.

We never truly forget those mistakes. We merely tuck them away in some dark corner, hoping no one will see them. But they are not gone. We push them farther and farther back on that shelf as we move forward. We try to forget. We do our best.

It's been said that it is not the mistakes we make that define our character, but rather how we deal with them. When we take responsibility for them and learn from them, we move forward. The danger is when we try to hide them and ignore them. Each event in our lives, good or bad, was a step upon the path that brought us to where we are. Each person who touches us or whom we touch... a step. There is a lesson to be learned about ourselves in every encounter.

But, we should not be judged for them. Nor should we judge others by their past mistakes. The Man who was once sold at auction as a slave for a day as a joke. Does that make him less of a Man today? No. The Free Woman who entered Gor as a slave. Perhaps it only took her a few days to realize that she was not a slave. So she re-enters Gor as a Free Woman and has been a shining example of that ever since.

When we attempt to forget the past, we lose our perspective. We judge others too harshly in an attempt to cover our tracks. The one who went from slave to Free and never acknowledged it, never owned that mistake, will be the first to berate others for "slave-like" behavior. Those who swept into Gor on tarnback, waving swords and then changed their names to hide it, will be the quickest to point out the same foolish behavior in others.

We should not forget our beginnings. No matter how much we'd like to forget the times we stumbled along the way, we can't. Nor should we. Because it is precisely those memories that allow us to empathize and offer a helping hand to others who are following the same journey as we did.

And because those memories will not allow themselves to be erased... When we try to... When we forget... that is precisely when they suddenly rear their ugly heads... and bite us right in the ass.

Wish you well,

~Dangrus

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Originally published in 1999