Living without a net

As many of you know, I read several message boards. While I don't post as often as I once did, I do continue to read.

On every board you will find "Can slaves fail?" followed by weeks of wailing and whining about "what if the master is drunk and tells her to shoot herself in the head while jumping off a cliff?" doomsday scenarios.

These are nothing more than attempts to avoid any hint that "lil precious" could possibly fail to be what she so very much wants to be. This is interspersed with the predictable chest-thumping hero riding to the rescue of all those "lilones" who might be so stupid as to actually try the cliff-jumping-head-shooting stunt in an effort to prove how really, really "slave-like" they are.

I've read posts by "former slaves" who suddenly cap their names and declare "I refuse to kneel to the capped masses!" (Roughly translated to: "That slave thing looked really cool, but it's too much work.") Some even go so far as to proclaim that they have discovered that (since they cannot be one) slaves must not exist.

The scariest discussion thread to date is what I refer to as "Gor-ville."

It's an attempt to form a Gorean gated society somewhere out in the boondocks where "Goreans can be Gorean" without the pressure of society.

While the various topics may be different, I see a similar "theme" emerging across the boards. Free or slave, it's the same whine.

The never-ending search for "wiggle room." The desire to find that safety net that will guarantee that they never fall, never get hurt, never fail.

There is a constant struggle to take what is natural and real and honest *and difficult* and turn it into something easy. The cost paid to live this is what makes it worthwhile. Stop looking for a free ride.

It is astounding to me that an Adult lifestyle that holds personal responsibility and accountability as two of its basic tenets continues to draw so many people whose main goal is to avoid those very things.

"It's not my fault!"

*sigh...*

Folks,

Sometimes.... it IS your fault.

Accepting, owning our mistakes and failures is the only way we grow.It's the only way to keep progressing along that path toward maturity.

Being Gorean is living in this society with honesty and integrity and the guts to be who and what you are as nature intended. It's owning your screw ups as well as your victories. It's embracing your own humanity, not running away from it.

It has been said that Norman's Priest Kings restricted technology on Gor in an effort to control the "human animals" they placed there.

I don't buy it.

I think the purpose of restricting technology was to force those humans to learn to accept, develop and utilize their own strengths. To force them to be the best they can be without any crutches. To force them to embrace their strengths, acknowledge their weaknesses and to experience fully all the joys and sorrows of their own humanity. He did this by removing the means to make it "easier." No excuses, no "buts," no compromise. You either survived on your own strengths…. or you did not survive.

There is no room for excuses, buts or wiggle room within the Gorean lifestyle.

You either are.... or you are not.

If you don't have the guts to live life without a safety net…. You don't belong in the Gorean lifestyle.

Failure is a fact of life.

In order to succeed at anything, you must be willing to risk failing….without guarantees, without safety nets, without"wiggle room."

To those who think they must remove themselves from society in order to live a Gorean lifestyle… I have only one piece of advice.

Don't drink the Koolaid.

Wish you all well,

~Dangrus

*********

Originally published in 2003.