Mentoring those who would be Goreans

If you read (as I do) public Gorean message boards, on each one you will invariably find a thread on Mentoring.

Oddly, all of the posts on various boards on this topic are a precise example of why Mentoring does not work in this lifestyle.

Let's look at it.

On one side, there are those who are gung-ho on the mentoring plan.

Most of their arguments have been based on the premise that those who come after should be able to learn from those who came before.

*Keep them from making the same mistakes.*

OK...

On the other side, there are those who do not believe a formal mentoring plan is effective and/or Gorean.

Why? Well, if you paid attention, you might notice that those who fall on the "Nay" side are those who have been here for years, and many of us have been labeled with that "Mentor" moniker whether we wanted it or not.

You see, those who have been down that mentoring road a few (thousand) times before have a different perspective on how effective it can or cannot be.

Been there, done that, lost the t-shirt.

In the doing, we learned that it is not possible to teach someone to "be."

They must go through the learning, failing and getting back up on their own in order for them to learn. That process in itself defines the Gorean Experience.

As a very smart man named Marcus told me years ago, "Dangrus, you can't save them from themselves."

But that doesn't stop us from trying.

So even though we know mentoring doesn't work, we attempt to mentor those who would be mentors. We share with them the fruits of our own experiences, in an effort to *Keep them from making the same mistakes.*

And do they listen?

Not a bit.

They have to learn from making their own mistakes.

So, with that realization I will now sit back and let them go.

Knock yourselves out. Mentor your little hearts out.

And when you finally "get it," we'll save a seat on the bench for you when that next generation of eager beavers pops up with a zealous need to mentor the next bunch.

I wish you well,

~Dangrus

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Originally published in 2004.