"Meow!"

There are some topics that seem to spring up repeatedly on Gorean forums – it’s almost as if there were some pre-determined rotation.

There is the “Let’s start a Gorean community way out in the sticks!” This is generally those who want to role play offline and want some privacy to run around naked and swing their swords. (And it’s always the folks you don’t ever want to see naked.)

“Can slaves have honor?” comes up pretty consistently.

Then there is the “If a master holds a gun to my head and tells me to jump off a cliff, am I still a REAL slave if I say no?” (This one is hands down my favorite for pure entertainment value).

And then there is the recurring “There is no difference between a Free Woman and a slave.” This one is sometimes brought up and defended zealously by some self-defined slave who has an issue with a particular FW. Or perhaps the “slave” isn’t getting all the attention/sex/love/adoration she (the slave) feels she is entitled to. Or, maybe she just wants to push her limits because she’s chafing at those “slavery rules.”

I think of these types as “slave-buts” They want to be slave when it’s fun and sexy – BUT- when it gets uncomfortable or boring, or no one is telling them how pretty or perfect they are – hey – don’t treat me like a slave!

As the debate escalates, the “slave” gets more strident, more shrewish and more obnoxious – her focus is on winning despite her passive/aggressive “I only wish to understand” disclaimers when anyone dares to call her out.

And as always happens, said slave’s “Master” will jump in the moment anyone disagrees with his precious pet. (He generally supports her because she might shut off the nookie)

Not to be outdone, there is the flip side to this – the Free Woman who is jealous of all the attention the slaves get or who has failed at slavery herself. She will declare “there is no difference between a FW and a slave!” She then proceeds to make a fool of herself by attempting to complete with slaves for the attention of men. (Her FC, if she has one, also supports her position because to do otherwise, might result in his own nookie cease and desist order.)

Both of these situations are the result of a woman who hasn’t fully accepted the reality of her chosen status.

Yep, you heard me. Chosen status.

Any woman who participates in this lifestyle is making a conscious decision to do so. Whether free or slave, she wouldn’t be here unless she chose to be.

And for some, there comes a time when they will doubt their choice. The slave will get to a point where she resents that the Free Woman can speak with impunity. The Free Woman will itch to be the focus of the man’s attention.

They will begin to question why they can’t have it all. Rather than simply accepting the differences, they chafe at the distinction between them.

One wants to be better or more desirable than the other. Women are naturally competitive – especially when it comes to men.

But this is all part of the learning process. These women will inevitably follow one of two paths. They will either continue to argue, trying to twist and mold the Gorean tenets to fit what they want them to be – eventually becoming so frustrated they leave. Or, they will stop fighting, accept their place in the ladder of power (whether free or slave) and hopefully reach enlightenment. But until they figure it out, they won’t stop fighting.

So I don’t involve myself in the debate anymore. It’s pointless to argue. It’s another stage of the evolution – a part of the growth process. And history has shown us…

They’ll either get it on their own… or they won’t.


Wish you well,

~Dangrus

***Footnote: – You will note that both of the women described above are involved with men for whom the driving motivation is nookie. It has been my experience that actual Gorean men will generally not involve themselves in these catfights. Accountability is one of the main Gorean tenets and the belief is that if you shoot your mouth off, you should have the chops to back it up or take your lumps.

Freedom and Women

Greetings Folks,

I was talking with my friend Tusker one night and one of the thoughts that came up was how the image of the Gorean Free Woman has changed over the years.

When I first began interacting with Goreans, I was told that all Free Women were Dommes.

"But I'm a submissive woman."

"Shhhh.... don't tell anyone that! Only slaves are submissive."

"But I'm not a slave."

"Yes, Mistress."

Coming from a D/s background of many years, each time a slave addressed me as "Mistress," it immediately brought to mind images of black-leather-clad-whip-cracking-Dommes. The thought made me shudder. That was so not me. So, for some time I insisted that slaves address me as "FW" rather than "Mistress."

Naturally, this caused no small amount of furor. There were some men who insisted that their slaves address me as "Mistress," and for the most part I respected that, but as for the rest, I was "FW Dangruscurvz." (To some, “that odd submissive Free Woman”)

A good friend of mine always insisted that all slaves address me as "Mistress" when in his presence. At first, I resented that. I saw it as an infringement on my rights. However, looking back now I can see that he was in his own way attempting to push me to accept my place in the food chain. I was not a slave, and I had to learn to exercise the authority that was mine by virtue of being Free. (Thank you, Vigameister)

As I read and learned and grew within the Gorean Experience, the title "Mistress" became less of an issue, but I also noticed a benefit to clinging to that "FW" form of address. It had become a sort of litmus test for slaves. Being Free has its perks and how you wish to be addressed by slaves is one of them. As I became more comfortable in my own skin and in my place in the ladder of power, I realized that if I wanted to be addressed as "Empress of the Universe" by a slave, that was my right. A slave who knows her place will simply obey. One who doesn’t will argue and/or lecture on the "proper form of address."

It made it very easy to weed out those who "got it" from those who didn't have a clue.

Eventually, as more and more people began to actually study Norman’s work and dig for the meanings behind the fiction, the image of a submissive Free Woman became less and less of an oddity. With the advent of message boards, the books were dissected and analyzed and studied and discussed and the philosophies defined and examined.

As our focus turned more to how to manifest these philosophies, our respective roles within them became clearer. While on that fictional planet societal status made it easy to deal in absolutes, it doesn’t translate so easily to living as Goreans here on Earth.

In Norman’s society, a woman’s status was defined by men and supported by Gorean law. Here, a woman’s place is chosen (defined by her nature after careful self-examination) and supported by the laws of the society we live in.

Yes, chosen. Each woman will choose her place in the natural order. This is often overlooked by those who are still mired in the fiction. Those slaves who claim to have been captured, taken, or enslaved are quite simply, full of beans. Unless you were clubbed over the head and dragged off in chains against your will, you chose to be slave. Every action, every word is a choice we make. Even if that choice is to not exercise the rights society bestows upon us. To deny this simple fact is to ignore one of the most basic tenets of the Gorean philosophies - Personal Accountability.

This also applies to those “FW” who claim to have been “freed.”

Poppycock.

My personal opinion of any woman who tells me she was “freed,” is that she is simply avoiding taking responsibility for her own choice. And if she won’t accept responsibility for her own choice, if she needs someone to take the consequences for her choice, she is by no means Gorean or Free.

Over the years, we have seen those who have failed (walked away from) slavery pronounce themselves Free. Some deny that slavery is even possible. The “I couldn’t do it, so it must not exist” line of thought. This is just more of the same - refusal to accept responsibility for one’s own actions.

It’s not surprising that these are the very same women we see falling to their knees the next time some man rocks their boat. It becomes a vicious cycle. When they get tired of deferring to every free person, they slap on the robes and spout off. Only to shed the robes again and spread when they crave the attention that slaves attract.

These are not Gorean Free Women. These are not Gorean anything. This switching back and forth is insulting to those Free Women and those slaves who actually committed themselves to manifesting the Gorean ethos and who strive daily to live up to it.

What is sad is that more and more this “maybe I am, maybe I’m not” has been accepted. No one questions it anymore. A few years ago, on the GPB a woman stated that she had not met a Free Woman who had not been a slave at some point. The responses were few and largely ignored.

This is how watered-down this philosophy has become. I want no part of that.

Here is what I have learned over these past thirteen years. Here is what I believe. Here are the standards that I see and strive daily to manifest.

1. A Gorean Free Woman is above all, accountable for her own choices, actions and deeds.

2. A Gorean Free Woman is free to speak her mind, so long as she is willing to back up her words and accept the consequences of speaking.

3. A Gorean Free Woman is not some delicate little flower who smiles sweetly over her veils while expecting men to cherish and protect her. She is strong enough to hold her own with Gorean men and stand her ground when warranted.

4. A Gorean Free Woman is sensual, sexual and vibrant and is strong enough to control herself and knows when to display those passions that drive her.

5. A Gorean Free Woman knows and accepts that there could exist a man (or men) strong enough to bring her to her knees. This knowledge tempers her behavior because she also knows that once she surrenders her free will, there is no turning back.

6. A Gorean Free Woman knows that the ultimate decision (and responsibility) of her status rests with her. She accepts that, commits to it and lives up to that commitment.

7. A Gorean Free Woman understands that her submission is her own. When, where, how and with whom she chooses to share that side of herself is hers alone. (Unlike the slave who surrenders that option upon claiming the status of slave.)

8. A Gorean Free Woman is aware that the slave is not equal to her. While she may share close bonds with those who choose servitude, the line of demarcation between Free and slave exists and it is the responsibility of the Free to make it clear.

9. A Gorean Free Woman understands and respects the realities of power. She knows that not all men are stronger than she is and responds instinctively to those who are. She has found her place on that ladder of power and thrives.

10. A Gorean Free Woman understands that the operative word in that phrase is not “Free” but “Woman.” She is gloriously and exuberantly female….

And in that knowledge…

She finds freedom.

I wish you all well,

~Dangrus

**Originally published to the GPB in May, 2004.