Greetings Folks,
I was talking with my friend Tusker one night and one of the thoughts that came up was how the image of the Gorean Free Woman has changed over the years.
When I first began interacting with Goreans, I was told that all Free Women were Dommes.
"But I'm a submissive woman."
"Shhhh.... don't tell anyone that! Only slaves are submissive."
"But I'm not a slave."
"Yes, Mistress."
Coming from a D/s background of many years, each time a slave addressed me as "Mistress," it immediately brought to mind images of black-leather-clad-whip-cracking-Dommes. The thought made me shudder. That was so not me. So, for some time I insisted that slaves address me as "FW" rather than "Mistress."
Naturally, this caused no small amount of furor. There were some men who insisted that their slaves address me as "Mistress," and for the most part I respected that, but as for the rest, I was "FW Dangruscurvz." (To some, “that odd submissive Free Woman”)
A good friend of mine always insisted that all slaves address me as "Mistress" when in his presence. At first, I resented that. I saw it as an infringement on my rights. However, looking back now I can see that he was in his own way attempting to push me to accept my place in the food chain. I was not a slave, and I had to learn to exercise the authority that was mine by virtue of being Free. (Thank you, Vigameister)
As I read and learned and grew within the Gorean Experience, the title "Mistress" became less of an issue, but I also noticed a benefit to clinging to that "FW" form of address. It had become a sort of litmus test for slaves. Being Free has its perks and how you wish to be addressed by slaves is one of them. As I became more comfortable in my own skin and in my place in the ladder of power, I realized that if I wanted to be addressed as "Empress of the Universe" by a slave, that was my right. A slave who knows her place will simply obey. One who doesn’t will argue and/or lecture on the "proper form of address."
It made it very easy to weed out those who "got it" from those who didn't have a clue.
Eventually, as more and more people began to actually study Norman’s work and dig for the meanings behind the fiction, the image of a submissive Free Woman became less and less of an oddity. With the advent of message boards, the books were dissected and analyzed and studied and discussed and the philosophies defined and examined.
I was talking with my friend Tusker one night and one of the thoughts that came up was how the image of the Gorean Free Woman has changed over the years.
When I first began interacting with Goreans, I was told that all Free Women were Dommes.
"But I'm a submissive woman."
"Shhhh.... don't tell anyone that! Only slaves are submissive."
"But I'm not a slave."
"Yes, Mistress."
Coming from a D/s background of many years, each time a slave addressed me as "Mistress," it immediately brought to mind images of black-leather-clad-whip-cracking-Dommes. The thought made me shudder. That was so not me. So, for some time I insisted that slaves address me as "FW" rather than "Mistress."
Naturally, this caused no small amount of furor. There were some men who insisted that their slaves address me as "Mistress," and for the most part I respected that, but as for the rest, I was "FW Dangruscurvz." (To some, “that odd submissive Free Woman”)
A good friend of mine always insisted that all slaves address me as "Mistress" when in his presence. At first, I resented that. I saw it as an infringement on my rights. However, looking back now I can see that he was in his own way attempting to push me to accept my place in the food chain. I was not a slave, and I had to learn to exercise the authority that was mine by virtue of being Free. (Thank you, Vigameister)
As I read and learned and grew within the Gorean Experience, the title "Mistress" became less of an issue, but I also noticed a benefit to clinging to that "FW" form of address. It had become a sort of litmus test for slaves. Being Free has its perks and how you wish to be addressed by slaves is one of them. As I became more comfortable in my own skin and in my place in the ladder of power, I realized that if I wanted to be addressed as "Empress of the Universe" by a slave, that was my right. A slave who knows her place will simply obey. One who doesn’t will argue and/or lecture on the "proper form of address."
It made it very easy to weed out those who "got it" from those who didn't have a clue.
Eventually, as more and more people began to actually study Norman’s work and dig for the meanings behind the fiction, the image of a submissive Free Woman became less and less of an oddity. With the advent of message boards, the books were dissected and analyzed and studied and discussed and the philosophies defined and examined.
As our focus turned more to how to manifest these philosophies, our respective roles within them became clearer. While on that fictional planet societal status made it easy to deal in absolutes, it doesn’t translate so easily to living as Goreans here on Earth.
In Norman’s society, a woman’s status was defined by men and supported by Gorean law. Here, a woman’s place is chosen (defined by her nature after careful self-examination) and supported by the laws of the society we live in.
Yes, chosen. Each woman will choose her place in the natural order. This is often overlooked by those who are still mired in the fiction. Those slaves who claim to have been captured, taken, or enslaved are quite simply, full of beans. Unless you were clubbed over the head and dragged off in chains against your will, you chose to be slave. Every action, every word is a choice we make. Even if that choice is to not exercise the rights society bestows upon us. To deny this simple fact is to ignore one of the most basic tenets of the Gorean philosophies - Personal Accountability.
This also applies to those “FW” who claim to have been “freed.”
Poppycock.
My personal opinion of any woman who tells me she was “freed,” is that she is simply avoiding taking responsibility for her own choice. And if she won’t accept responsibility for her own choice, if she needs someone to take the consequences for her choice, she is by no means Gorean or Free.
Over the years, we have seen those who have failed (walked away from) slavery pronounce themselves Free. Some deny that slavery is even possible. The “I couldn’t do it, so it must not exist” line of thought. This is just more of the same - refusal to accept responsibility for one’s own actions.
It’s not surprising that these are the very same women we see falling to their knees the next time some man rocks their boat. It becomes a vicious cycle. When they get tired of deferring to every free person, they slap on the robes and spout off. Only to shed the robes again and spread when they crave the attention that slaves attract.
These are not Gorean Free Women. These are not Gorean anything. This switching back and forth is insulting to those Free Women and those slaves who actually committed themselves to manifesting the Gorean ethos and who strive daily to live up to it.
What is sad is that more and more this “maybe I am, maybe I’m not” has been accepted. No one questions it anymore. A few years ago, on the GPB a woman stated that she had not met a Free Woman who had not been a slave at some point. The responses were few and largely ignored.
This is how watered-down this philosophy has become. I want no part of that.
Here is what I have learned over these past thirteen years. Here is what I believe. Here are the standards that I see and strive daily to manifest.
1. A Gorean Free Woman is above all, accountable for her own choices, actions and deeds.
2. A Gorean Free Woman is free to speak her mind, so long as she is willing to back up her words and accept the consequences of speaking.
3. A Gorean Free Woman is not some delicate little flower who smiles sweetly over her veils while expecting men to cherish and protect her. She is strong enough to hold her own with Gorean men and stand her ground when warranted.
4. A Gorean Free Woman is sensual, sexual and vibrant and is strong enough to control herself and knows when to display those passions that drive her.
5. A Gorean Free Woman knows and accepts that there could exist a man (or men) strong enough to bring her to her knees. This knowledge tempers her behavior because she also knows that once she surrenders her free will, there is no turning back.
6. A Gorean Free Woman knows that the ultimate decision (and responsibility) of her status rests with her. She accepts that, commits to it and lives up to that commitment.
7. A Gorean Free Woman understands that her submission is her own. When, where, how and with whom she chooses to share that side of herself is hers alone. (Unlike the slave who surrenders that option upon claiming the status of slave.)
8. A Gorean Free Woman is aware that the slave is not equal to her. While she may share close bonds with those who choose servitude, the line of demarcation between Free and slave exists and it is the responsibility of the Free to make it clear.
9. A Gorean Free Woman understands and respects the realities of power. She knows that not all men are stronger than she is and responds instinctively to those who are. She has found her place on that ladder of power and thrives.
10. A Gorean Free Woman understands that the operative word in that phrase is not “Free” but “Woman.” She is gloriously and exuberantly female….
And in that knowledge…
She finds freedom.
In Norman’s society, a woman’s status was defined by men and supported by Gorean law. Here, a woman’s place is chosen (defined by her nature after careful self-examination) and supported by the laws of the society we live in.
Yes, chosen. Each woman will choose her place in the natural order. This is often overlooked by those who are still mired in the fiction. Those slaves who claim to have been captured, taken, or enslaved are quite simply, full of beans. Unless you were clubbed over the head and dragged off in chains against your will, you chose to be slave. Every action, every word is a choice we make. Even if that choice is to not exercise the rights society bestows upon us. To deny this simple fact is to ignore one of the most basic tenets of the Gorean philosophies - Personal Accountability.
This also applies to those “FW” who claim to have been “freed.”
Poppycock.
My personal opinion of any woman who tells me she was “freed,” is that she is simply avoiding taking responsibility for her own choice. And if she won’t accept responsibility for her own choice, if she needs someone to take the consequences for her choice, she is by no means Gorean or Free.
Over the years, we have seen those who have failed (walked away from) slavery pronounce themselves Free. Some deny that slavery is even possible. The “I couldn’t do it, so it must not exist” line of thought. This is just more of the same - refusal to accept responsibility for one’s own actions.
It’s not surprising that these are the very same women we see falling to their knees the next time some man rocks their boat. It becomes a vicious cycle. When they get tired of deferring to every free person, they slap on the robes and spout off. Only to shed the robes again and spread when they crave the attention that slaves attract.
These are not Gorean Free Women. These are not Gorean anything. This switching back and forth is insulting to those Free Women and those slaves who actually committed themselves to manifesting the Gorean ethos and who strive daily to live up to it.
What is sad is that more and more this “maybe I am, maybe I’m not” has been accepted. No one questions it anymore. A few years ago, on the GPB a woman stated that she had not met a Free Woman who had not been a slave at some point. The responses were few and largely ignored.
This is how watered-down this philosophy has become. I want no part of that.
Here is what I have learned over these past thirteen years. Here is what I believe. Here are the standards that I see and strive daily to manifest.
1. A Gorean Free Woman is above all, accountable for her own choices, actions and deeds.
2. A Gorean Free Woman is free to speak her mind, so long as she is willing to back up her words and accept the consequences of speaking.
3. A Gorean Free Woman is not some delicate little flower who smiles sweetly over her veils while expecting men to cherish and protect her. She is strong enough to hold her own with Gorean men and stand her ground when warranted.
4. A Gorean Free Woman is sensual, sexual and vibrant and is strong enough to control herself and knows when to display those passions that drive her.
5. A Gorean Free Woman knows and accepts that there could exist a man (or men) strong enough to bring her to her knees. This knowledge tempers her behavior because she also knows that once she surrenders her free will, there is no turning back.
6. A Gorean Free Woman knows that the ultimate decision (and responsibility) of her status rests with her. She accepts that, commits to it and lives up to that commitment.
7. A Gorean Free Woman understands that her submission is her own. When, where, how and with whom she chooses to share that side of herself is hers alone. (Unlike the slave who surrenders that option upon claiming the status of slave.)
8. A Gorean Free Woman is aware that the slave is not equal to her. While she may share close bonds with those who choose servitude, the line of demarcation between Free and slave exists and it is the responsibility of the Free to make it clear.
9. A Gorean Free Woman understands and respects the realities of power. She knows that not all men are stronger than she is and responds instinctively to those who are. She has found her place on that ladder of power and thrives.
10. A Gorean Free Woman understands that the operative word in that phrase is not “Free” but “Woman.” She is gloriously and exuberantly female….
And in that knowledge…
She finds freedom.
I wish you all well,
~Dangrus
~Dangrus
**Originally published to the GPB in May, 2004.
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