To obey, or not to obey

This began as a conversation on the Gorean Falls message board.

"What is your duty?" asked my master. "Absolute obedience," I replied, in Gorean." pg 106 Slave Girl of GOR.

An impossible command? Not really. To many slaves, this concept of "absolute obedience" is a tough one to assimilate into their lives offline.

Slaves are taught to obey *All* the Free, *All* the time.

Is this wrong? Many would have you believe that. While defending insolent slaves, they will often hurl reminders of the infamous "Slavemaster" at you in defense. Some feel slaves have the right to pick and choose who they will obey.

Here is the flaw in their logic, though. A Gorean chat room (or forum) is a *Controlled Gorean environment* Just as it would be if you were in the home of a Gorean. And within that *Controlled Gorean Environment* it is not only possible, but expected that slaves will obey absolutely the commands of the free. All free. Because they have the security of knowing that most (if not all) of the people within that environment have a working knowledge of the Gorean culture.

Most slaves do not live within a *Controlled Gorean Environment* even if they happen to live under their owner's roof. Even those slaves held under the harshest discipline, will occasionaly find themselves outside of that *Gorean environment* They do not kneel and beg to enter the dry-cleaners, nor do they offer themselves to be used by every man they meet.

While still remaining respectful and pleasing, when outside the *Controlled Gorean environment* a slave's actions must be tempered by the world in which she lives. Common sense and self-preservation demand that.

So what's the bottom line? Just this. A slave is a slave *All* the time. Not only when the computer is on and not only when in the presence of those free she deems Gorean. Her demeanor is respectful and pleasing. Even when dealing with the dry-cleaner or the next door neighbor. There is never an acceptable excuse for insolence or rudeness.

As for *Absolute obedience* well, in her day-to-day life, a slave must use common sense and is called upon to make judgement calls according to the situation.

But... when inside a *Controlled Gorean Environment* whether that is a Gorean chat room, on a Gorean forum, or in the home of a Gorean...

*Absolute obedience* is not only possible... it is expected.

Absolutely.

Wish you well,

~Dangrus

***

At this point, a slave asked, "What if a "respected Gorean Master" whom you don't know well, commands you to do something you're not comfortable with... ie, revealing your address, phone number or nude pics?"

***

I replied:

When operating within that *Controlled Gorean Environment,* there is a hierarchy that is in effect. The security in that environment is in the presence of the Owner, host and/or other free in the room to whom the slave can appeal if she feels uncomfortable with a command given.

When outside of that environment, the slave is essentially "on her own" and must trust her own instincts entirely.

The bottom line is that even under the most extreme circumstances, a slave need not step beyond her station. This is an adult lifestyle and participants should be adult enough to handle themselves. That does not mean a girl ever has to resort to rudeness or insolence.

There is a difference between a girl saying "a girl does not feel she knows you well enough to reveal such personal information," and a girl saying "Piss off, buster I don't have to tell you a damn thing!"

When a girl's personal safety becomes an issue, she must decide when or if she will share private information. Common sense should tell you not to give out phone numbers and addresses to people you do not know.

However, when it comes to online interaction (chat or forums) or in the home of a Gorean, whether the command is "get me paga" or "warm my lap," she doesn't get a vote. Nor does she get to choose who she serves within that Gorean environment. That is Gorean slavery. If she's not prepared to serve Gorean men on their terms, she does not belong here.

Oh, the phrase "well respected Gorean master" is a relative term. It all depends on who is talking.

Here's the thing...

Gorean slavery is not some romantic fantasy. It is intense and overwhelming and very real. Gorean men do not accept the "gift" of submission. Instead, they give the gift of complete and uncompromising mastery. In exchange, they wring from that woman every ounce of submission she is capable of and more. There is no "protection" for a slave in the context of Gor. The only protection she has is knowledge. Knowledge of how Gorean slavery works. Knowledge of what will be expected of her.

The totality of what it entails, not just the pretty trappings.

To those who are considering it, I would say this:

Talk to people, many people. Read The Gorean Public Boards and other public forums where people who actually live this philosophy share their experiences. Learn everything you possibly can about the true nature of Gorean slavery. The good, the bad and the ugly. Make sure that you know exactly what you are getting into before you set foot upon the path. Gorean slavery is not about blind obedience... it is about complete and knowledgeable surrender.

Wish you well,

~Dangrus

********

Originally published in 2000

Living without a net

As many of you know, I read several message boards. While I don't post as often as I once did, I do continue to read.

On every board you will find "Can slaves fail?" followed by weeks of wailing and whining about "what if the master is drunk and tells her to shoot herself in the head while jumping off a cliff?" doomsday scenarios.

These are nothing more than attempts to avoid any hint that "lil precious" could possibly fail to be what she so very much wants to be. This is interspersed with the predictable chest-thumping hero riding to the rescue of all those "lilones" who might be so stupid as to actually try the cliff-jumping-head-shooting stunt in an effort to prove how really, really "slave-like" they are.

I've read posts by "former slaves" who suddenly cap their names and declare "I refuse to kneel to the capped masses!" (Roughly translated to: "That slave thing looked really cool, but it's too much work.") Some even go so far as to proclaim that they have discovered that (since they cannot be one) slaves must not exist.

The scariest discussion thread to date is what I refer to as "Gor-ville."

It's an attempt to form a Gorean gated society somewhere out in the boondocks where "Goreans can be Gorean" without the pressure of society.

While the various topics may be different, I see a similar "theme" emerging across the boards. Free or slave, it's the same whine.

The never-ending search for "wiggle room." The desire to find that safety net that will guarantee that they never fall, never get hurt, never fail.

There is a constant struggle to take what is natural and real and honest *and difficult* and turn it into something easy. The cost paid to live this is what makes it worthwhile. Stop looking for a free ride.

It is astounding to me that an Adult lifestyle that holds personal responsibility and accountability as two of its basic tenets continues to draw so many people whose main goal is to avoid those very things.

"It's not my fault!"

*sigh...*

Folks,

Sometimes.... it IS your fault.

Accepting, owning our mistakes and failures is the only way we grow.It's the only way to keep progressing along that path toward maturity.

Being Gorean is living in this society with honesty and integrity and the guts to be who and what you are as nature intended. It's owning your screw ups as well as your victories. It's embracing your own humanity, not running away from it.

It has been said that Norman's Priest Kings restricted technology on Gor in an effort to control the "human animals" they placed there.

I don't buy it.

I think the purpose of restricting technology was to force those humans to learn to accept, develop and utilize their own strengths. To force them to be the best they can be without any crutches. To force them to embrace their strengths, acknowledge their weaknesses and to experience fully all the joys and sorrows of their own humanity. He did this by removing the means to make it "easier." No excuses, no "buts," no compromise. You either survived on your own strengths…. or you did not survive.

There is no room for excuses, buts or wiggle room within the Gorean lifestyle.

You either are.... or you are not.

If you don't have the guts to live life without a safety net…. You don't belong in the Gorean lifestyle.

Failure is a fact of life.

In order to succeed at anything, you must be willing to risk failing….without guarantees, without safety nets, without"wiggle room."

To those who think they must remove themselves from society in order to live a Gorean lifestyle… I have only one piece of advice.

Don't drink the Koolaid.

Wish you all well,

~Dangrus

*********

Originally published in 2003.

Mentoring those who would be Goreans

If you read (as I do) public Gorean message boards, on each one you will invariably find a thread on Mentoring.

Oddly, all of the posts on various boards on this topic are a precise example of why Mentoring does not work in this lifestyle.

Let's look at it.

On one side, there are those who are gung-ho on the mentoring plan.

Most of their arguments have been based on the premise that those who come after should be able to learn from those who came before.

*Keep them from making the same mistakes.*

OK...

On the other side, there are those who do not believe a formal mentoring plan is effective and/or Gorean.

Why? Well, if you paid attention, you might notice that those who fall on the "Nay" side are those who have been here for years, and many of us have been labeled with that "Mentor" moniker whether we wanted it or not.

You see, those who have been down that mentoring road a few (thousand) times before have a different perspective on how effective it can or cannot be.

Been there, done that, lost the t-shirt.

In the doing, we learned that it is not possible to teach someone to "be."

They must go through the learning, failing and getting back up on their own in order for them to learn. That process in itself defines the Gorean Experience.

As a very smart man named Marcus told me years ago, "Dangrus, you can't save them from themselves."

But that doesn't stop us from trying.

So even though we know mentoring doesn't work, we attempt to mentor those who would be mentors. We share with them the fruits of our own experiences, in an effort to *Keep them from making the same mistakes.*

And do they listen?

Not a bit.

They have to learn from making their own mistakes.

So, with that realization I will now sit back and let them go.

Knock yourselves out. Mentor your little hearts out.

And when you finally "get it," we'll save a seat on the bench for you when that next generation of eager beavers pops up with a zealous need to mentor the next bunch.

I wish you well,

~Dangrus

**********

Originally published in 2004.

New Year's Wish List

I originally posted this list on 01/01/2000. Ten years later, my list is the same.

*****

My wish list for everyone in the New Year...

Knowledge... not only of things Gorean, but knowledge of life, and mostly knowledge of self.

Humility... to admit the knowledge we don't have... only then will we begin to learn.

Perseverance... to seek that knowledge and understand it.

Wisdom... to use the knowledge acquired in a positive way, not as a weapon.

Grace... to accept help in the spirit in which it is given and be grateful for it.

Patience... with those who are not as far along the path.

Clarity of vision... to see the truths in Gor... and in ourselves.

Courage... to face those truths without flinching.

Honesty... to voice those truths.

Tenacity... to defend those truths against all odds.

Discrimination... to discern right from wrong.

Trust... in our own judgment.

Passion... to extract every ounce of joy out of each day.

Strength... to channel that passion into honorable pursuits.

A strong and loving heart... filled with enough fire to fuel those passions that drive us and warm the spirit that sustains us.

Happy New Year,

~Dangrus

Perching on Pedestals

Competition between slaves was a common occurrence in the books. But, there was something honest about the wrestling in the mud, scratching, hair-pulling squabbles that took place there. Here, words are the weapons of choice. The competitive drive is cloaked in catch-phrases and descriptives that a girl uses to inch just a little higher than the next girl. Subtle, insidious, words veiled in sweetness.

As I think back, I have witnessed several different "trends" but while the words are different, the intent is the same. To edge ahead of the pack. To step up on that pedestal that makes her just a little better than the rest of the slaves.

The first example of this is the collared slave. Not just any slave anymore... His slave. His treasure, his precious, his pet, his slut, his beast... His. While she smiles serenely down at the other uncollared girls, she assures them that someday, if they are very pleasing, they might be able to step up to share her pedestal. The rest are just slaves... she is a collared slave.

Then we saw the "true slave." The picture perfect (Barbie kajira) slave. Always compliant, calm, serene, perfectly composed. She never struggled, never had doubts like other girls because... well... because she's a "true slave." The rest are just slaves... she is a true slave.

Then for a while, we had the "R/L slave" You remember her... the girl who could not post one sentence without referring to her "R/L Master." She introduced herself as a "r/l slave." Every request to leave or AFK included a reference to the "R/L Master." The rest were just slaves...

She was a R/L slave.

And now we have the 2001 version. The "natural slave." The girl with that magical, mystical, special *something* that sets her apart from all others... can't describe it... can't explain it... can't define it... it's just... well... natural. The rest are just slaves... she is a natural slave.

As I look at these words... collared slave, true slave, r/l slave, natural slave... Where is the focus here? Why would a girl who is truly enslaved would feel the need to qualify her status with such descriptives.

If you're looking for the slave... the humble servant who is fullfilled in her servitude... you won't find them on these pedestals... If you look close enough, you will see that the graceful beauty in simple surrender is found in the girl who finds her life's meaning... in being "just a slave."

Wish you well,

~Dangrus

********




Originally published in 2001.

Simulation

The past few days while I've been home "under the weather" I have had a little more time to spend online than in recent months. Now, perhaps it's the cold meds, or perhaps it's just that less time here has given me a different perspective , but no matter the cause, I find my tolerance level for bullshit is at an all time low.

I have been asked my opinion on several topics that seem to have sprung up recently, so I thought I'd share them here. Along with a few observations of my own.

The "serving vs. not serving vs. serving pretend drinks vs. pretending to serve real drinks" debate.

Well, I'll give you the policy in my Falls which I still adhere to. I think there is a great deal to be learned through online simulation for those who feel a pull toward slavery. Since the Falls was created as a virtual Gorean setting, slaves are expected to learn what that is and serve accordingly. Does this teach them to serve paga offline? Nope. What it does teach them is that in my home, they will behave according to my wishes without question. They learn that even if something is not important to them... if it matters to the free person they serve, then it becomes important, period. One of the first times I encountered this particular part of Gorean interaction was years ago when I witnessed a slave being punished for typing "LOL" instead of typing it out. I asked the man "What does it matter?” He replied, "It matters because I say it matters. And that is all a slave should need to know for it to matter to her."

Excellent point.

I have had slaves question why they are corrected for typos. The answer is simple. The free call the shots. The free set the standards. Slaves either live up to those standards, or fail. It's not a difficult concept. The free need not justify why they wish things a particular way. It is a slave's lot to obey. Period. Whether he demands paga or pepsi in a Donald Duck cup with a silly straw, the slave will obey. *Without question* That is the important thing that a slave learns (or should be learning) by online simulation of serving. The reality of her status.

Will she learn any more or less whether she's serving paga or pepsi? Nope. Simulation is simulation is simulation... Period. While some may enjoy pretending they're in a virtual living room vs. a virtual tavern, it all boils down to semantics. (Read, bullshit) Doesn't make it any more real or any more Gorean. The bottom line is that online simulation serves a purpose that is valid. Or it should. When used correctly. When both parties are committed to the task, simulation can be very real.

It is not a tool for some man to use to look like a big guy while his collared slave types a 45 min dripping and quivering extravaganza to show everyone how "Masterly" her owner is. It is not a gynecological exam. It is not a slave's "right" to take center stage so that everyone must hush and pay her the attention she feels she is entitled to.

It is quite simply, an opportunity to express feelings, thoughts and emotions in a creative way. The desire to please the one being served and the devotion to the task will show in the attention to detail. Detail, meaning a familiarity with the works that this lifestyle is based on. Detail meaning a working knowledge of rudimentary grammar. It is also a way for the free to exert their control over a slave by demanding (and getting) the particular service they wish. If that means making her repeat the serve until it is typo-free, then that is what should happen. What is important is the understanding of the dynamic between free and slave. The free commands, the slave obeys. It is not enough to say the words "slaves have no rights." The simulation allows her to experience that. Or it should.

Simulation is an opportunity for those who have no offline experience to safely explore whether this particular lifestyle is something that they can handle. While it will not answer every question, it will sometimes show a person that this is perhaps a little more intense than they first thought. Personally, I'd rather see a person learn that here, online, than in a face to face encounter that may just cause irreparable damage.

As for whether that simulation takes place in a "virtual living room" or a "virtual tavern," well... Online Gor sprang from the virtual tavern. I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with that. Just because some of us have found valid and real philosophies to anchor our lives within the words of Norman... does not mean that we have given up forever our ability to appreciate the fictional world that he created.

When the day comes that I am content to simulate sitting on my couch instead of taking that flight of imagination and hope that Gor inspires in me... That will be the day that Gor has lost its meaning for me.

I hope that day never comes.

Wish you well,

~Dangrus

********



Originally published in 2001.