People often describe the natural order as "All men are dominant and all women submissive."
Nice little nutshell. Unfortunately, the world doesn't fit into a nutshell quite that easily. I believe that when Norman referred to "the natural order of things," he was thinking on a broader scale. I believe that Norman's philosophy of natural order was intended to encourage people to know and live as nature intended them to do. However, not every person is the same. The human species is infinitely diverse. Each person is unique in their own way. The purpose is for each to find that singular niche that they alone fit into and fulfill that. Just as nature created those who fit the "norm," so too did nature create those who do not. And they have their place. Each has a place of their own, a purpose to fulfill within nature's tapestry.
There are a small percentage of people who were born homosexual. No one knows for sure why that is. Whether it is genetic or some hormonal imbalance, it is something that is inherent. It is not a chosen way to live. In fact, some in an attempt to "fit into the norm," will attempt to deny it. Some will marry and produce children, raising families and interacting for years, keeping their "abnormal" desires a shameful secret.
Having known more than a few people in this situation, I can say those marriages generally fail. Usually when the person finds they can no longer deny their "natural" instincts. For these
people, being homosexual is not a choice. Living honestly comes with a price. Some pay this cost with lost jobs, careers shattered, friends and families who shun them… some even pay with their
lives.
Why? Why would a person "choose" to live in a way that is almost sure to result in discrimination, ridicule and even personal harm?
Because it is not a choice. Because it is who they are. Naturally. Because to live any other way would be to deny their true nature. And to do that, would be living a lie.
Now I'm not speaking about cross-dressing or transgender disorders. Not every homosexual man is a drag queen nor does every homosexual desire to surgically alter their body. Those are simply stereotypes used to "dehumanize" groups. If you view them as a stereotype instead of individual human beings, it makes discrimination easier. But there are people who accept and embrace their gender, and enjoy and appreciate the opposite sex, they just prefer their own gender sexually. I don't presume to understand why it is; it's not really my business. But I do believe that there are some people who are just "naturally" homosexual.
This I think Norman portrayed in his homosexual couple, Appanius and his slave Milo. They were not shunned or cast out of society. They were not pointed at or ridiculed. They simply were. People who were naturally homosexual and living their lives. They were not considered an aberration or wrong… just different. But they were indeed, Gorean.
There is another type of homosexual behavior that is not a result of natural inclinations for the same gender. What I call "situational homosexuality." This is not inherent, or genetic. It is entirely dependent upon the situation. A prime example is men in prison. Normally heterosexual men, who when denied normal hetero interaction with women will indulge in homosexual behavior. To quote a friend of mine, "Some men will schtupp mud." What is interesting to note here, is that these men (and sometimes women) are naturally heterosexual. It is only when normal heterosexual interaction is denied them that they resort to homosexual activity.
Norman depicted this type of homosexuality with his "Sames." Remember they did not "choose" to be Sames, it was a punishment. They were denied normal hetero contact. It was not allowed.
This I believe is what Norman referred to as an aberration. Not homosexuality per se, but the homosexual behavior of those who were not by nature homosexually inclined.
The question has been asked "can a homosexual be Gorean?" I think they can. Does homosexuality go against the natural order? Only if you think that the natural order is only dominant- men/submissive-women. I don't believe it is that simple.
I think Norman's concept of natural order extends beyond male/female relations. There is also the reality of power. Nothing is ever that cut and dried. Not every man is capable of dominating every woman. Each one of us has natural inclinations and desires that are uniquely our own. It is those that Norman encourages us to discover and express.
It is often said that a man does not need to have a relationship with a woman at all to still be considered Gorean. Why can that man not be homosexual? Just because a man is homosexual does not mean he does not accept the realities of power and the differences between the genders. Being homosexual does not mean a man stops being male. There are gay firefighters, police officers and lumberjacks. The list goes on.
I think Norman's intent was for each person to examine, understand and embrace their own true self. To seek that unique place that fulfills them and to express their humanity (and sexuality) in the most natural way possible.
Can you be homosexual and still be Gorean?
There was a time when I would have answered vehemently, "No."
I was wrong.
What sometimes seems so black and white is not always that simple. In between black and white are an infinite number of shades of gray.
It is easy to see what is on the surface and make assumptions and judgments based on what is readily visible. However, true enlightenment is only found when one dares to look beneath the surface.
Dive deep.
Beneath the surface….
That is where the truth lies.
I wish you well,
~Dangrus
